A Royal Pain?
by E. 0rchid
Summary: When Keitaro gets roped into one of Su's crazy plans he finds himself unwillingly caught in the middle of a royal dispute. Can Keitaor survive becoming a Prince of Molmol, or will his rivals and the Hinata Sou gang bring about his end? KeixSu. AU.
1. Should Have Said No

Disclaimer- I do not own Love Hina or anything associated with it unless it's some random character that I made up, but I don't have one of those in this story so I don't own anything…….bummer.

Author's Note- Okay, so in reality I'm supposed to be working on my latest fan fic. Zazie Rainyday: The Unfortunate Marionette. Unfortunately it's given me a serious case of writers block so I'm going to have to leave it alone for awhile before I end up writing some random garbage for a chapter. Meanwhile I saw this Love Hina AMV on YouTube ™ featuring Keitaro and Su (if you want to check it out go to and type in Love Hina Tarzan). This AMV inspired me to start writing again, so hopefully it will help me get out of the rut I'm in. Anyway, enough about my problems! ON TO THE STORY!

**Story takes place after Manga 8. Beware, alternate universe fic!**

**A Royal Pain?**

**Episode 1: Should Have Said No.**

"Keitaro!" Su bellowed as she leapt from the top of the stair case and slammed into Keitaro's head with the heel of her foot. After watching Keitaro slam into to a wall next the kitchen Su bounded up to his crumpled form and said, "Hiyas Keitaro!" She was currently wearing her usual sailor suit school uniform, and her platinum blond hair was pulled back in its usual ponytail.

After shaking off the pain Keitaro looked up into Su's emerald green orbs with his chocolate brown ones and responded with his usual nervous chuckle and asked, "Can I help you with something Su?" However it immediately clicked in Keitaro's mind that was not a question he should have asked as Su started grinning from ear to ear. Keitaro immediately got up and started backing into the wall hopping that it might swallow him and save him from what he assumed would be another one of Su's crazy experiments. "Um Su, you don't plan on having participate in another of your experiments do you?" Keitaro asked as Su drew closer to him, her hands behind her back and grinning from ear to ear.

"Nothing like that," Su responded far too sweetly for Keitaro's taste as she looked up at Keitaro with puppy dog eyes, "I just need your help with something."

'Oh man, she's too cute….no I've got to fight it,' Keitaro thought to himself as he audibly gulped and responded, "That depends Su, what exactly do you need help with?"

"Well it's nothing really all that important, I just needyoutogotoMolMolwithme," Su finished at near light speed and then smiled even more sweetly at Keitaro causing his remaining will power to crumble and fail him.

Had Keitaro actually heard what Su said he probably wouldn't have agreed to it. However he had not heard what she said and, combined with the incredibly sweet and innocent smile she was giving him, his willpower had been stripped from him. 'What's one more experiment, I am semi-immortal after all,' Keitato thought as he smiled down at Su and replied, "Sure, why not."

'Heh, hook, line, and sinker,' Su thought to herself as her angelic smile was replaced by a diabolic grin and she said, "Thankies Keitaro, I'll let you pack now." With that she bounded up the stairs and disappeared from sight.

Keitaro simply looked at the space Su had once occupied with a blank expression on his face as he thought, 'Did she just say she would leave me to pack?' As he thought this bits and pieces of what Su had actually said started to trickle into his brain. As soon as he got the whole picture Keitaro opened his mouth and let it hang agape for a moment before he said, "Oh crap."

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"Su I don't have enough money for this!" Keitaro whined as they rode in a taxi toward the airport. Keitaro was now dressed in his black turtle neck shirt (the one he wore in manga 8), a pair of dark blue denim jeans, and his usual pair of white tennis shoes.

"Quit yer blubberin'," Su demanded as she bounced happily in her seat.

"How do I get myself into these messes?" Keitaro thought to himself as he pulled out his raggedy brown leather wallet and waited for the cab to finish pulling up in front of the airport.

"1192 yen, mack," the cab driver, an old man with a lot of wrinkles and a lot of facial hair, stated in a very New York accent.

As Keitaro handed him the money he was about to ask if the man was from around here, but Su yanked him out of the cab and on to the street. Grabbing the bags out of the trunk with unbelievable amount of ease Su proceeded to launch them at Keitaro.

"AHHHH!" Keitaro cried as he cringed and waited for what he believed would be the inevitable sound of cracking bones and a lot of pain. After waiting a moment Keitaro slowly opened his eyes and looked around to see what had happened. Looking to his left and his right Keitaro saw a troop of foreign looking women dressed black suits, white dress shirts, and black ties. 'I wonder who they are, some type of secret service or something?' Keitaro thought to himself as he absently registered the fact that these women had in fact caught the bags that had almost crushed him.

"Okies! Let's go Keitaro," Su shouted merrily as she leapt onto Keitaro shoulders and pressed her heels into his stomach earning a loud "OMFH!" from Keitaro as he began to walk in the direction that Su was pointing.

'I guess they must be secret service or something because they're dressed in suits,' Keitaro thought to himself as he continued to walk in a trance toward the destination Su had pointed out to him. 'But then again what would the some secret service agents be doing with our bags?' Keitaro continued to think as he boarded a large jet, not even registering the fact that he hadn't even bought a ticket.

"Okies ladies, lets get goin'!" Su stated as she hopped off Keitaro's shoulders and landed in a large comfortable leather seat which featured three eyes that Keitaro could have sworn he saw on Su's inventions.

It was also at this time that Keitaro's mind began to register its surroundings. The first thing he noticed was the fact that the plane was huge, then he noticed that it was decked out in the finest decorum he could have ever imagined. There were large black leather seats, a movie theater size screen in the front, a lavish buffet (featuring a lot of bananas or banana dishes), a bar, and even a small arcade in the back.

"Whoa," was all Keitaro could say as he unconsciously took a seat neck to Su before everything started to click in his mind. "AHHHHHH! WHAT ARE WE DOING ON HERE!?" Keitaro shouted as his eyes bugged out of their sockets. "SU WE'VE GOT TO GET OFF OF HERE!...WAIT! WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR LUGGAGE!? WHO WERE THOSE WOMEN? WHATS GOING ON!?" Keitaro cried out as he began to hyperventilate.

Meanwhile Su sat in her seat happily munching on a banana and humming some random tune to herself.

"I feel weak," was all Keitaro said after a moment before he fell into a dead faint.

"Clean up on isle three!" Su shouted as she got up and walked over to the buffet grabbing a banana pudding.

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"Wakie Wakie Keitaro," was the first thing Keitaro heard as he came to.

"Ugh, man what a crazy dream," Keitaro moaned to himself as he ran his hands through his messy brown hair. 'For a minute there I thought I was on some fancy plane going to some crazy country,' Keitaro thought to himself as he opened his eyes slowly and allowed them to adjust to the bright light streaming into them.

"Come on Keitaro, we're here!" a voice Keitaro recognized as Su's stated, her voice full of excitement.

"We're wha?" Keitaro asked as his eyes shout open and he observed his surroundings before he added, "Oh crap! It' wasn't a dream!"

"You're taking too long," Su stated as she lifted him up out of his seat and dragged him out of the plane. Taking only a second to take in his surroundings, Keitaro found that he was in some type of tropical country due to the numerous palm trees, and intense heat.

"Su what's going on?" Keitaro asked with a hint of fear in his voice as he allowed him self to be dragged off of the plane and into a long black limousine featuring a three eyed design that Keitaro knew he had seen both on the plane and on Su's inventions.

"We're going to meet my parents!" Su exclaimed happily as she grabbed a banana soda out of the small refrigerator in the lemo.

"WHAT!" Keitaro cried out in a mixture of panic and fright before he fainted once again.

"Tamalla, clean up in isle three again!" Su shouted to the front of the cab before she started chugging down her soda.

**Later**

"Jeez, these dreams are starting to get crazier and crazier," Keitaro said to himself as he once again woke up thinking everything that had happened to him had been a dream.

"Hey, you woke up just in time," Su stated as the door on her side opened to reveal a magnificent east Indian looking castle and some kind of royal celebration.

Keitaro's mouth simply hung open as he exited the lemo and Su clomped onto his back and pressed her heals into his side.

"Giddy Up!" Su demanded with a maniacal laugh as she and Keitaro walked past a enormous crowed of cheering people. Keitaro had always hated being in the lime light, and a situation like this was his worse nightmare. Although his knees were shaking and quivering underneath him, Keitaro managed to continue to walk up a long flight of stairs towards the palace as Su had directed.

'This is not going to end well, I can already feel it," Keitaro gripped mentally to himself as he continued ascend the stairs, as Su continued to wave at the cheering people. As he reached the final step Keitaro came face to face with a large muscular bronze skinned man wearing a blue pen stripe western suit, a extravagantly designed lopsided gold crown, and a large Cuban cigar sticking out the corner of his mouth. His large emerald eyes gleamed in the bright sun light, and his messy goatee added a sort of laid back presence to his figure.

"Hey kiddo, it's about time you came back for a visit," the man stated with a hearty chuckle as he opened his arms wide.

"Hiyas daddy!" Su exclaimed as she leapt off of Keitaro's shoulders and bolted towards her father enveloping him in a bone crunching bear hug which he countered with his own.

'Well that explains the hug thing,' Keitaro thought to himself with a nervous chuckle as he took in the rest of the people standing at the stairs. Next to Su's father stood an equally bronze skinned woman wearing what appeared to be a traditional dress, one that showed a lot of cleavage, and a smaller gold crown which was placed neatly on the top of her head. The woman had long flowing platinum blond hair which extended down to the small of her back, deep blue eyes, and pouty lips. She smiled at Keitaro, although Keitaro thought that it looked rather forced, and did a small nod of her head in acknowledgement. Keitaro bowed back in respect and then continued to look at the other two individuals gathered at the steps.

A few meters behind the woman stood another bronze skinned young woman wearing what also appeared to be a traditional navy blue top, which also showed a lot of cleavage and her toned abs, and a long bubble gum pink skirt which extended down to her ankles. However it wasn't the cleavage or the exposed stomach that caught Keitaro's attention, it was her long silver hair, which was pulled back into a messy ponytail, her soft features, and her clear blue eyes. While Keitaro continued to gaze at her she gave him a small bow in respect and a small sweet smile. Keitaro caught himself staring and blushed wildly as he returned her bow with one of his own.

Taking his attention off of the young woman, Keitaro came face to face with a young man who looked exactly like him….well almost exactly like him. The young man had similar facial features, but his deep green eyes, black hair, and toned muscular frame far exceeded that of Keitaro's. Another noticeable difference was his clothing which consisted of some kind of extravagantly designed tan, and green tunic, and similar pair of pants. The young man gave Keitaro a small nod as a welcome smiled serenely at him. Keitaro bowed in respect once again, and proceeded to try to allow his brain to actually process the information it had been fed.

'So lets see, the guy in the suit is Su's father, the woman standing next to him must be her mother, the girl behind the mother must be her sister, and the guy standing next to her must be the brother she's always saying I remind her of. Okay I've got that down, let's see….so since he looks to be the king than that would make Su a princess…..got it………WAIT WHAT!?' Keitaro mentally shouted to himself as his eyes bugged out and then his pupils dilated.

"Hey kiddo, is he going to be okay?" Su's father asked as he released his daughter and regarded the young man with concern evident in his large green eyes.

"Yes dear, he looks like he's about to faint. Someone might want to catch him before he falls down the steps," Su's mother suggested with concern only evident in her voice, as she added under her breath, "Or not."

"Aw, soon to be hubby will be fine," Su said waving off their concern and signaling one of the "secret service" members to take the luggage inside. Just then a loud thump could be heard and the cheering suddenly changed into loud gasps and cries.

Su turned to see Keitaro fall down the palace steps smashing his head on every other one.

"Well it looks like my problems are solved," the queen muttered to herself with an evil smirk as she watched Keitaro plummet to his "doom".

"Oh my god," Su's sister cried out as the man came to a stop and crumpled at the base of the palace steps.

"Calm down Amalla, I already told you he was immortal," Su said waving it off once again before she looked down the steps and shook her head as if in disgust. Cupping her hands she placed them over her mouth and shouted, "Shake it off Keitaro!"

Everyone, except the king, face faulted dramatically after Su's announcement.

"Well I'll be in my room, bring hubby there as well. Okies?" Su inquired as she hopped on the shoulders of one of her body guards and entered the palace.

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"Owww," Keitaro moaned as he woke up and clutched his head in pain. "How hard did Narusegawa hit me this time?" Keitaro griped as he opened his eyes. "Wait a minute this isn't my room," Keitaro stated as he looked around the room. He had a sinking suspicion that he had perhaps landed on some type of porno set. He immediately rethought this as he looked around and noticed that it was too extravagant to be some random porn set. 'Maybe I landed in some bodies private love room or something,' Keitaro thought to himself as he looked at marble columns at each corner of the room, the extravagant crystal chandelier above him, the heart shaped plushy bed he was sitting on which numerous gadgets attached, and numerous other accoutrements.

"Hey hubby, it's about time you woke up!" Su shouted as she flung open the giant white and gold door the lead into the room.

"Hubby?" Keitaro questioned as his mind went into overdrive trying to comprehend exactly what was going on. Unfortunately it short circuited halfway leaving a sputtering mindless Keitaro.

"Yep!" Su exclaimed as she hopped on top of his head and started ruffling his hair.

"What, when, why, how?" Keitaro sputtered as he desperately tried to cling on to the last bit of his sanity.

"Well to answer the what, you're going to be my hubby. To answer the when it happened, well when you first came to the Hinata Sou. To answer they why, because I like you and you're really fun. To answer the how, well there's no need because you're already here, okies?" Su asked in a cheerful tone of voice as she thought, 'There are a lot of other reasons for the why and when, but for right now it would be safer if you didn't know. Too many complications and too many problems.'

"Duh," was Keitaro's only response as his mind finished processing exactly what was going on. After a moment of complete silence Keitaro hung his head and moaned, "I am soooo dead when the others find out."

"Don't worry about them soon to be hubby, my new mecha tama models should hold them for a while. If you're worried about a note though, already left them one," Su stated as she hopped off of Keitaro's head and turned to face him.

Keitaro started to chuckle nervously as he asked his next question, "Um Su, what exactly did that note say?"

"That we're getting' hitched!" Su exclaimed before she added, "Well I'll see you at dinner soon to be hubby!" However before Su had a chance to leave Keitaro gently grabbed her wrist and turned her to face him. Turning to face him Su came face to face with a distraught looking Keitaro.

"Su-chan, we can't get married just because you like me and on top of that you're almost a decade younger than me," Keitaro stated sympathetically as he looked into the younger girls emerald eyes, his own brimming with compassion and almost pleading.

The look in Keitaro's eyes made Su's heart melt and she began thinking, 'While he's right, this plan just works out too well for me to give up on him. Sorry Keitaro, but you're gonna be stuck with me whether you like it or not….although I would prefer the prior rather than the latter. And it's not like I don't think I could love him, there is an almost definite chance that I could.' Su gazed into Keitaro's pleading eyes for a moment before she heard a soft knocking on the door.

"Your majesty, they are waiting for you and your guest in the dinning hall. I humbly suggest that you two make haste, you know how his majesty gets when he's hungry" the voice of a young woman stated before soft foot steps could be heard walking away from the door and down the hall.

"We can talk later, okies?" Su asked with a wide smile as she released herself from Keitaro's loose grip and headed out the door and down the grand hallway.

"I don't think she heard a word I said," Keitaro groused to himself as he shook his head envisioning his impeding doom when the girls finally got defeated the Mecha Tama's Su had invented. After letting out a beligured sigh Keitaro got up from the bed and went down to the dining hall.

**To Be Continued**

**Next Episode: Meet the Parents**


	2. Meet the Parents

Disclaimer- I do not own Love Hina or anything associated with it.

Author's Note- Thanks to those of you who reviewed, and those of you who are enjoying the story!

**A Royal Pain?**

**Episode 2: Meet the Parents**

"I thought I'd never find this place!" Keitaro exclaimed as he crawled through the door into the dining hall. He was exhausted and was on his last limb.

"Hiya soon to be hubby, what took you so long?" Su inquired from her seat at the table.

"This place (heave) is so (heave) big," Keitaro said taking a minute to catch his breath and crawling into a seat next to Su explaining, "I got lost…..a lot."

"Why didn't you just follow the signs?" Su inquired as she started to suck on her spoon.

Keitaro opened his mouth as if to say something but was at a loss for words so he simply shut it again and looked down at his plate demurring.

"Well Su, aren't you going to introduce you fiancée to everyone?" the king asked as he lit another Cuban cigar.

"Okies!" Su exclaimed as she started pointing people out who were seated around the massive table. "Well that's Commander Tutu of the Molmol royal army," Su stated pointing in the direction of an older man wearing a general's army uniform, complete with badges and medals. He had several wrinkles on his face, short grey hair which happened to be thinning out at the top, and deep grey eyes that seem to exude a sense of wisdom and peace. He seemed to be a serene man and nodded in Keitaro's direction with a small respectful nod and a polite smile.

Keitaro nodded back politely feeling somewhat at ease in the older mans presence as Su continued to introduce people.

"Okies, sitting next to him is my brother Lu Lamaba," Su stated indicating the young man Keitaro had met not too long ago.

"It's a pleasure to meet you some what formally Keitaro-kun," Lu stated with a small nod and a smile of his own.

Keitaro nodded and smiled back also feeling a great deal peace being exuded from Lu's presence and demeanor.

"Alrighty, so sittin' next to him is my big sister Su Amalla," Su said indicating the young woman with silver hair whom Keitaro had also met earlier. "She's engaged to my brother so don't get any ideas soon to be hubby," Su said slanting her eyes slightly staring back at a flabbergasted Keitaro, "I saw you earlier so don't even try to deny it."

"Hello Keitaro-kun, I'm happy to see that you are feeling better," Amalla responded sweetly as she added, "You gave us quite a scare when you fell down those steps."

"Sorry about that," Keitaro apologized chuckling nervously while scratching the back of his head sheepishly.

"There's no need for you to apologize, as long as you're okay that's all that matters," Amalla stated with a small smile.

"Thank you," Keitaro replied as he tried to hide his increasingly evident blush from the rest of the group assembled at the table.

"ANYWAY!" Su shouted in order to change the subject and draw Keitaro's attention back to her. With the attention focused back on her Su introduced a bronze skinned young man wearing a black suit, a white dress shirt which was partially unbuttoned revealing his toned chest, and a black crescent tattoo over his left eye. As far as his facial features it was easy to say that he was handsome. His long curly jet black hair, which hung loosely all around his face, his ivory teeth, square chin, and sharp features made him look very sophisticated and distinguished. However, Keitaro couldn't help but feel that there was something sinister about the young man, but after a moment he eventually decided that he must be imagining things.

"This is Guko-san. He was supposed to be my fiancée but now I'm getting married to you," Su stated happily as she beamed at Keitaro. Keitaro took note of the dark look Guko gave him after Su had finished her statement, but decided not to dwell on it9.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Keitaro-san, and congratulations on your engagement," Guko replied seemingly sincerely, although his left eyebrow was twitching violently.

"Um, it's a pleasure to meet you as well?" Keitaro stated nervously as he picked up his glass of water and downed some of it with an audible gulp.

"Guko-san is the ruler of Lomlom, our neighboring kingdom," Su stated as the food was brought in through what looked to be the door that led into the kitchen.

"It's about time!" the king of Molmol groused as his food was set in front of him.

"Now dear, there's no need to be upset because Keitaro-kun was late," the queen said ,with an amused looked in her eye, trying to placate her husband at the opposite end of the table.

"Sorry your majesty!" Keitaro squawked as he bowed deeply in apology.

"What are apologizing for?" the king questioned as he began to dig in.

"Huh?" Keitaro questioned as he looked up toward the king.

"You got lost, who cares? I get lost myself sometimes, the important thing is that I'm eating now," the king said with a shrug as he brought his beverage to his mouth and gulped it down.

"Right," was all Keitaro could say as he looked at Su who was grinning from ear to ear.

"Alrighty, so you know that's my daddy the king of Molmol, Jugara, and at the other end of the table is my mom, the queen of Molmol, Peppa," Su said finishing her introductions and grabbing a banana from one of the servers.

"Peppa?" Keitaro questioned as his food was placed in front of him.

"Yes Keitaro-san," Peppa stated as she grabbed her wine and downed it in one go and let out an exasperated sigh. "My mother hand an interesting sense of humor, lets just leave it at that," Peppa finished sourly as she picked up her fork and knife.

"Um, okay?" Keitaro stated as he scratched his head in puzzlement.

"So Su-chan, I must know, what made you decide on Keitaro-san as a husband? What exactly are his redeeming qualities?" Guko inquired as he set down his fork for a moment and gazed a Keitaro with a malicious grin. The room was silent in anticipation, a side from the king who continued to woof down his meal, for almost five minutes before Su spoke up munching on her fourth banana filled smoke trout (yes I know it sounds disgusting, but it's really not that bad….I have weird taste in food as you can tell).

"What's redeeming? Does it taste good?" was Su's baffled response resulting in a collective face fault from everyone at the table except the king who continued eating with gusto.

"No Su, redeeming means something you find acceptable, or in this case, made me an acceptable husband," Keitaro stated as he recovered and began to eat his meal.

"OH!" Su replied and waited a moment as tension rebuilt up in the room before she added, "So I guess that means it doesn't taste good." Su's responses was, once again, met with a collective face fault.

"Never mind," Keitaro murmured to himself as he began to eat.

"But, but," Guko sputtered in confusion and annoyance.

"Please eat Guko-san, there is no need to press the issue. My sister can marry who she pleases for whatever reason she wants," Lu stated effectively silencing Guko as he began to eat his own meal.

While everyone ate Su thought to herself, 'That was a close one, I can't have my plans coming unraveled just yet. But there's no doubt that Keitaro will want to know the real reason as to why I chose him before the ceremony. I'll just have to think of something before then.'

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"So prospective son-in-law, I think it's time that we introduced you to an age old Molmolian tradition," the king stated as they exited the dining hall.

"Um, sir about that. You see I'm not sure that," Keitaro started nervously before he was instantly cut off by Su.

"He's not sure he has the proper equipment in his bags," Su stated speedily as she grabbed Keitaro by the arm and led him up the stairs and towards her room.

"You already told him about the game?" Jugara called after her with a hint of disappointment and disapproval mixed into his voice.

"Yep! Sawy!" was the last thing the group heard as Su disappeared down a lengthy hallway.

"Oh well," the king stated with a shrug as he turned toward the other two young men behind him and said, "Well let's get ready!"

"Yes father," Lu stated as he followed merrily his skipping father down the hall.

"Do I honestly have to participate in this idiotic game?" Guko asked as he turned toward Peppa with an incredulous look plastered on his face.

"Think of it this way," Peppa stated with a diabolic grin, "This is an excellent chance for you to crush Keitaro, and prove to Kaolla that you're the better man."

Guko pondered this for a moment while stroking his chin with his thumb and index finger before he smiled deviously. "Yes you're right, once I win this game Su-chan will be sure to drop that pauper for a prince," Guko stated as he released a boisterous laugh.

"Um, what are you two talking about?" Amalla inquired as she approached a haughtily laughing Peppa, and a boisterously laughing Guko. Upon hearing Amalla enter the scene the two immediately stopped laughing.

"Oh sweetheart, I didn't hear you come in," Peppa stated as she walked up to Amalla while signaling with her eyes for Guko to get ready for the game.

"Well I must get ready, I will see you two later," Guko stated with a bow as he left the pair.

"Mother, what were you and Guko-san laughing about?" Amalla pressed as she eyed her mother skeptically.

"Oh nothing important dear, come lets get ready to watch the game," Peppa stated as she guided her daughter towards another room.

**-Meanwhile-**

"Um, Su what exactly is this tradition your father was talking about," Keitaro inquired from within the bathroom as he changed out of his normal attire into a sort of tan and green native skirt and put on extremely heavy and elaborately designed iron shin protectors and wrist protectors Su's bodyguards had brought him. After slipping on his leather sandals Keitaro walked out of the bathroom and Su eagerly began inspecting him. Aside from his thick glasses, Su greatly approved Keitaro's new look at stated it.

"Oooo, Keitaro looks like one of the island warriors from Grandia II!" Su exclaimed happily as clomped onto him and began rubbing her cheek on his.

Keitaro chuckled nervously before he once again asked, "So what exactly am I getting all dressed up for Su-chan?"

Hoping off of Keitaro and walking towards the door Su simply stated, "Oh it's nothin' but a little Molmolian drinking game of sorts, no bigs." With that Su opened the door and said, "Come on I'll show you the way to the arena, don't want you gettin' lost again."

Keitaro blushed at Su's last comment and almost forgot that he had just heard Su say something about an arena. "Um, wait why would a drinking game take place an in arena?" Keitaro inquired incredulously as he hesitantly stepped forward.

"Because it's fun," was Su's excited reply as she grabbed Keitaro out of the room by force and dragged him out of the palace.

"Wait Su, who says I was going to play the game!" Keitaro cried as he was dragged toward the arena before he added, "Who's say's I want to get married!?"

**-Meanwhile-**

"I wonder where Su and Keitaro went, all she left was a note talking about hitching on to something….maybe Motoko shouldn't have cut it to shreds with the Mecha Tama," Kitsune said to herself as she lazily flipped through random channels, suddenly something finally caught her attention. "Wow, this looks interesting," Kitsune stated as she stopped flicking through random channels. "Molmol Drinking Game of Doom?" Kitsune questioned as she stared intently at the screen, "I wonder what could be so deadly about drinking, aside from drinking too much." As she watched the announcer started to explain the game.

"_Hello everyone, this is Chuck Cedarbeater reporting live from the Royal Molmol Arena where the Molmol Drinking Game of Doom is about to take place!" _a man wearing a black tuxedo stated. His short black hair was slicked back with jell, and his face looked extremely greasy._ "As you all know the Molmolian Drinking Game of Doom is a tradition that center's around the marriage of one of the royal princesses. However in this case both of the princesses are getting married, so does that mean double the action and intense fiancée competition? Only one way to find out! But first, for those of you who are new to this ancient sport the game runs similarly to the ancient Maya ball game except with a Molmolian twist. You see when one person scores a goal the opposing member must drink a shot of Molmol's strongest liquor, the game continues like this until one team gains twenty one points, after which time the loser must down a whole keg of Molmolian liquor. Of course the only reason it's the drinking game of doom is due to the fact that that loser cannot spill one drop from the keg, less they have their head shaven!"_ the announcer exclaimed excitedly as he continued to look at the camera before he heard the sound of roaring applause and looked down toward the arena. _"Well it seems that the royal contestants have arrived! The first to enter is the Great King Su Jugara! Folks I don't think we've ever had a better ruler in Molmol in the last fifty years! Alright, entering after the king is his adopted son Prince Lu Lamaba! Quite the catch one might say, to bad he's getting married huh ladies!?"_

"I'll say," Kitsune agreed almost drooling over the man, although she got the distinct feeling that he looked somewhat similar to someone she knew.

"_Alright entering in after the young prince is the ruler of our neighboring kingdom King Tuta Guko! Once the potential suitor for the youngest princess he was tossed to the way side for our final contestant! Hailing all the way from Japan, the owner of an all girls dormitory, lucky dog, and Toudai student," _The announcer stated as Kitsune began to stroke her chin pensively.

"Now that definitely sounds like somebody I know," Kistune thought to herself as she continued to watch the screen with increase fascination.

"_Ladies and gentleman allow me to introduce you to our final contestant Urashima, Keitaro!"_

Kitsune's jaw hit the floor as she gawked at the television screen watching Keitaro nervously emerge from the locker room and walk into the arena. After a moment of blankly staring at the television screen Kitsune called out, "NARU, MOTOKO, SHINOBU, SARAH, HARUKA! I THINK I'VE FOUND KEITARO!"

**-Meanwhile-**

"I don't want to get my head shaved," Keitaro whined as he walked toward the center of the ball court where the rest of the men and a referee stood waiting on him.

"Alright, you've been paired up with Prince Lu Lamaba, Urashima-san, do you know how the game works?" the referee asked as he extended his arm holding the ball.

"Yes," Keitaro stated as he audibly gulped and nodded while thinking, 'Oh man, this is not gonna end well.'

"Alright, let's have a good clean game okay?" the referee stated as he looked back and forth between the men who simply nodded in response. "Alright, let's get it on!" the referee stated as he blew his whistle and launched the ball into the air.

"Ha!" Lu shouted as he jumped in the air and hit the rubber ball with his forehead immediately knocking it into the ring hung up on the left side. The whistle blew and two shot glasses were brought over to a shocked Guko and a chuckling Jugara.

"Well played son!" Jugara stated as he raised his shot glass to a smirking Lu and a gawking Keitaro. He down the contents of the glass and let out a raspy sigh before he clapped his hands and rubbed them together furiously. "Alright Guko, hurry up so we can get back to the game!" the king demanded as he waited for Guko to down his shot.

Guko grumbled as he downed his shot and tossed it back to the young man who had brought them out. "Don't think it's over yet Keitaro-san, I'm just getting started," Guko stated as he went back to the half court marker and got into position.

"Did I do something to him?" Keitaro asked nervously Lu as they got into position as well.

"I doubt it," Lu said with a chuckled, "Guko-san has always been a sore loser, so try not to worry about it. Just focus on winning the game; that is unless you want your head shaved."

Keitaro immediately shook his head furiously as he tensed up as he got back into position.

"Alright then, we can't let up on them so give it your all," Lu stated as the whistle blew again.

This time Guko was the one who managed to his the ball by leaping almost ten feet in the air and smacking it with his hip towards the king. The king tapped the ball with his hips towards Guko who immediately smacked it back. Lu made a dive for the king but, using his world famous Jugara Juke, he was able to fake out his son and drive that ball down toward the right ring. Sensing the king would score unless his he was able to get the ball away from him Keitaro also dived for the king, but only to be faked out like Lu and land on the ground with a smack. As Keitaro recovered he turned around just in time to see the king score.

"Ha, in your face kids, in your face!" the king gloated as he did a victory dance similar to Tyrell Owens (that was such a stupid dance).

Lu smacked his forehead and muttered a silent curse to himself, as he and Keitaro downed their respective shots.

"What do you think about that, huh pauper?" Guko questioned as he got in Keitaro's face.

"Um, I think the king is really good?" Keitaro offered in a mousey voice as he began to quiver under Guko's fierce gaze.

"Huh?" Guko asked momentarily caught off guard before he glared at Keitaro again and said, "Well if you think he's good, I'm going to be your worse nightmare!"

"Okay," Keitaro said shrinking away from Guko and scurrying to the half court line.

**-Meanwhile in the Royal Box Seats-**

"Well girls, I hope you like your fiancées bald," the queen stated with a hearty chuckle as she fanned herself with a fan featuring the traditional three eye design.

"Who knew pops could play so well?" Su stated in astonishment as she watched the replay on the score box before she added, "He must really be workin' out!"

"Everyday, for at least two hours," Amalla stated calmly, although a worried look was plastered across her face.

"Hey it's O.K., Lu wont lose so we don't have anything to worry about," Su stated in a a-matter-of-fact way as she turned to face the arena with a smug grin on her face. "Isn't that right Commander Tutu?" Su asked as she continued to watch the match.

"Yes your majesty, there's no way the king can out do the Tutu Power Pusher," Commander Tutu stated with a small chuckle as he continued to watch the game.

"Huh?" Amalla and Peppa inquired as they looked at Tutu and Su incredulously.

"Just watch," was all Su said with a small smile.

**-Back to the Game-**

"I've got it!" the king cried out as he approached the ring only to be knocked out of mid-air. The king landed on the ground in a daze as Lu stood over him with a small smile on his face.

"Well pop what do you think about the Tutu Power Pusher?" Lu inquired as he bounced the ball back and forth between himself and the clumsy Keitaro, who almost lost the ball every time it was passed to him.

"You ready Keitaro-kun?" Lu inquired as he prepared to pass the ball back to Keitaro.

"Huh?" Keitaro asked in surprise as he turned to face Lu.

"Alright! Here it is, don't lose it!" Lu shouted as his hip smacked into the ball and sent it toward Keitaro's direction.

"Wait I'm not ready!" Keitaro shouted back, but of course it was too late. Keitaro clumsily bounced the ball of his head and over a surprised Guko. Needless to say Keitaro was surprised himself, but he focused and reclaimed the ball. "LU! HERE IT COMES!" Keitaro shouted as he awkwardly bounced the ball of his hip and over to Lu who bounced it off his hips and into the ring scoring yet another point.

Once again the shots were brought out and the king and Guko downed them. After that the king and Guko stepped their game up, and the score was tied at twenty to twenty. By then both teams were extremely inebriated and were making mistakes left and right.

"Well folks, we're down to the tie breaker," the announcer stated as the men gathered at the half court mark, albeit they were stepping over their part of the line like crazy but they were there none the less.

"Alright, this is the last play of the game," the referee stated as he raised the ball into the air, "Good luck gentlemen, and may the best team win." With that said he blew his whistle and tossed the ball into the air.

Lu immediately leapt up in order to gain control of the ball and so did Jagara. Unfortunately, due to their intoxicated state both confused each other's heads for the ball and violently head butted each other knocking themselves out. This caused a loud gasp among the crowd members, and both a gasp and a pained moan to echo from the distraught queen and the equally distraught Amalla. However Su simply watched on, although she clutched the arm rest of her seat even tighter as she dug her nails into it.

'Come on Keitaro, you can do this!' Kaolla mentally shouted as she watched both Keitaro and Guko stumble around in a drunken stupor, both desperately trying to gain control of the ball.

"Ooooooo, ball!" Keitaro slurred drunkenly as he went to head butt the bouncing rubber ball. As he approached the ball however, he was immediately dropped kicked into an adjacent wall causing him to crumple on the concrete floor unconsciously.

"HA!" Guko shouted as held up his fingers with the "V" for victory sign as he slurred out, "That was tooooooo easay! Nowwww it's time tooooo finish thisssss!" With that said Guko drunkenly bounced the ball of his head usually taken two steps forward and one step back. Anticipating this taking awhile the audience members went to go get some refreshments.

**-An Hour Later-**

"Hereee weee gooooo!" Guko stated as he finally reached the ring and bounced it off his head. Everyone held their breath as the ball went into the air, Su and Amalla clutched their chair so tightly that it made their fingers go white, and their mother simply chuckled haughtily.

Just as the ball was about to go through the ring there was loud cry heard from the other end of the arena.

"NOOOOO! THAT'S THE WRONG RING!" the king cried out as everyone's eyes went wide with shock.

"NOOOOO!" Guko cried out in vain as the ball went through the ring and the final buzzer sounded.

"**KEITARO-SAN AND LU-SAMA ARE THE WINNERS!"**

"Noooo," Guko cried out one last time as the kegs were brought out.

"Thank goodness," Amalla stated breathing a sigh of relief.

'That was close,' Su thought to herself, 'I was hopping that he would forget which ring was his.'

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"CHUG IT CHUG IT CHUG IT!" the crowed chanted as the funnels and tubes were handed to the king and Guko.

"Bottoms up, eh?" the king said as he took his tube and funnel and connected it to the keg. The referee turned the handle and aloud the contents to come pouring out. A few hours later that king finished off the keg and let out a thunderous belch that rang through out the entire stadium. The entire crowd cheered in support of their leader and his amazing alcohol tolerance combined with his bottomless pit of a stomach.

"That's my dad!" Su cried out as her father sat up a pumped his arms victoriously.

"Wow, I think I'm going to be sick," Keitaro stated visibly paling and turning green as he put and hand over his mouth.

"Well Guko-san, it's your turn," Lu stated with a chuckle before adding, "Be careful not to spill."

Guko merely glared darkly at Keitaro as he strapped up his funnel and tube. 'I can do this,' Guko thought as he watched the referee turn the knob and he watched the liquid stream down the tube. For the first couple of seconds Guko was actually holding his own very well. However, after a little less than a minute his face started to turn green. After almost two more minutes he began to shake violently.

'I cannot lose to this commoner!' Guko shouted at himself as he tried to push himself to finish off what was left. After another minute Guko was shaking so much that even the keg was shaking, but he was almost at the end. After another few seconds the sound of slurping could be heard and the challenge was over.

"Ha! In you face Urashima!" Guko shouted as he shot up, immediately regretting his decision as he began to feel sick.

"Wait a second!" the referee called out as a small stream of alcohol poured out of the tube.

"No," Guko whispered to himself before he let out a pained cry the reverberated through out the arena, "NOOOOOOOO!"

**-A few minutes later-**

"Bald is definitely the look for you Guko-san," Lu commented with a snort as he tried not to start laughing….again.

"Urashima," Guko stated in a low growl as the light from the locker room shone off his neatly waxed balled head.

"Cheer up, it'll grow back in the next couple of years," the king stated as he patted Guko on the shoulders roughly, "I mean when I lost to Peppa's father I felt the same way you do, but my hair grew back and I learned a valuable lesson."

"Yeah?" Guko started his voice dripping with sarcasm, "And what might that be?"

Jabara laughed heartily before he responded saying, "I learned that I needed to make sure there was nothing left in the keg before I got up!"

Guko simply face faulted while Lu merely chuckled to himself.

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"You know you got really lucky," Su stated with a chuckle as she and Keitaro walked down the hall back towards her room.

"Yeah, yeah," Keitaro said tiredly as he let out a yawn before adding, "Man I'm beat, so where will I be sleeping Su?"

Su smiled sweetly as she looked up at Keitaro and said, "Silly Keitaro, you'll be sleepin' with me!"

Keitaro immediately stopped dead in his tracks and fainted on the spot.

"Clean up in isle three!" Su cried out as she continued her trek towards her room while her body guards carried Keitaro towards her room.

**-Meanwhile-**

"That pervert's getting married!" Naru cried out indignantly as she finished watching the "Molmol Drinking Game of Doom". "After everything we've been through!? I even chased that idiot to some island, and got lost because of him!" Naru stated as she balled up her fist and banged them on the wooden coffee table creating two indentations in it.

"Urashima married?" Motoko asked herself as felt a pang in her chest as well as feeling in tighten somewhat.

"Whoa, who ever she is she must be really stupid or blind to fall in love with that dork," Sarah stated with a chuckle.

"Sempai," Shinobu stated with tears streaming from her eyes.

"Wow, I would love to play that game!" Kitsune exclaimed.

"You would," was all Haruka said as she turned and walked out the door.

"That's it! We're going to Molmol, and we're going confront that pervert!" Naru stated as she stalked up to her room.

"I agree, that lecherous male must be dealt with before he takes advantage of this defenseless maiden," Motoko stated as she too ascended the stairs.

"Well this is gonna be interesting," Kitsune said to herself with a light chuckle.

**To Be Continued**

**Episode 3: Prepare for the Ceremony!**

Author's Note: Well another day, another chapter. Hope you guy's enjoyed it! AS ALWAYS, PLEASE REVIEW!


	3. Let the Ceremony Begin!

Disclaimer- I do not own Love Hina, or anything associated with it aside from this fan fiction….if I even own this.

Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, and those of you enjoying the story as well as those who don't (although if you didn't I can't imagine you reading this far, but hey you never know).

Author's Rant: Okay, I don't know what the deal is with but I had this chapter done almost three days ago, and when I went to upload it I kept gettin' this message saying that they were unable to fulfill my request. Now considering that this isn't the best site ever I could understand this for the first two days, now when the third came rollin' around I started to think there was a serious problem that need to be fixed like two days ago. Anyway, if anyone has any suggestions please e-mail me or something because right now I have had to resort to some extraordinary means in order to start posting chapters again. Thanks.

**A Royal Pain? **

**Episode 3: Prepare For the Ceremony!**

"Oh man," Keitaro moaned painfully as he awoke. "My head feels like I've been hit with a Naru Punch and run over by a Semi-Truck," Keitaro said gently clutching his head as he tried to open his eyes only to immediately shut them once bombarded by the powerful rays of sun light shinning through the enormous balcony window. "Argh, hangover!" Keitaro cried out and immediately regretted it as his head began to throb painfully. Keitaro fell back onto the bed landing on something extremely soft. 'This doesn't feel like a pillow,' Keitaro thought to himself as he felt around not daring to open his eyes and exposing them to the suns devastating rays.

As Keitaro began to feel the object he noted that it was strangely warm, and seemed to be moving slightly almost as if it were breathing. Dragging his hand down a soft slender object he slowly brought his hand down on to a part of the female anatomy that he would be able to identify even if he was blind. 'Oh crap!' Keitaro thought to himself, 'Naru's gonna kill me!" Suddenly he heard a feather light moan and he felt whoever he was currently fondling stir from what sounded to be a blissful slumber.

"Wow hubby, you're awfully horny for someone who doesn't want to marry me," Su's groggy voice stated with a chuckle.

"Duh," was Keitaro's only response as he quickly retracted his hand with a snap.

"I figure the massive hangover you should've had would have kept you from gettin' too frisky, but if you're ready to consummate our marriage right now I don't have any problem with it," Su stated as she began to cuddle next to a quivering Keitaro.

For a moment Keitaro was completely still as he felt Su remove what might have been her pajama shirt, although he couldn't tell for sure due to the fact that he still refused to open his eyes. However, as soon as he felt Su's soft as silk skin brush against his arm he immediately jumped out of the bed opening his eyes wide and bolting for the balcony while crying out, "AHHHHHH! I DON'T WANNA DIE!" as blood trickled from his nostrils.

"Hehe," Su chuckled to herself as Keitaro plummeted off of the balcony into the gigantic pool below As she rebuttoned her pajama shirt back up over her white tank top she muttered, "Too easy Keitaro, too easy….although that liquor was more of an aphrodisiac than I expected. Even so, I'm way to young to be havin' kids," Su stated with a shiver as she took time to imagine what it would be like to actually have children at such a young age. However, upon getting a whiff of the excess scent of alcohol left in the room Su felt herself given in somewhat as she thought to herself, 'Maybe we should have got it on.' As Su continued to dwell on the matter she brought Keitaro's pillow to her chest and hugged it tightly while sniffing it. "Oh yeah, definitely should've cuffed him down," Su thought as she set the pillow down gently and then proceeded to get up and take a quick shower before breakfast.

Meanwhile Keitaro was pulling himself out of the pool when one of Su's body guards strolled up to him casually.

"Keitaro-san, I have come to inform you and the mistress that breakfast is being served in the royal dining hall," the young bronze skinned, boyish cut red head woman stated with a deep bow. "I have also been told to escort you, so if you would follow me we can be on our way," the woman stated as the sopping wet Keitaro followed miserably behind her.

"Um, can I take a shower first?" Keitaro inquired as he sniffed himself and turned up his nose in disgust before he added, "I kinda reek of Molmolian liquor."

"It is customary for one to smell of the liquor after the tournament, in fact you almost broke the tradition by landing in the pool," the bodyguard stated in a deadpan tone of voice, although Keitaro could hear it cracking slightly for some reason.

"Um, okay?" Keitaro stated as he scratched the side of his head with his index finger in puzzlement. "So do the other three still reek of alcohol, or will it be just me?" Keitaro inquired as they continued down the hall before he added, "And will they still be wearing this crazy outfit?"

"No Urashimaaaa-saaannn, only you and Prince Lu are to remain unbathed and in the ceremonial dresss" the young woman half muttered, and half hissed through gritted teeth as she began to quiver slightly.

"Um, are you okay?" Keitaro inquired as the woman came to an abrupt stop and started shaking violently. Completely oblivious of the potency of the aphrodisiac within the liquor, Keitaro made the biggest mistake of his life. Placing a hand on the young woman's shoulder in an attempt to calm her down Keitaro was shocked when the woman whipped around to face him with a hungry look in her eyes.

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" she bellowed as she tackled Keitaro onto the carpet with incredible force and mashed her lips on to his.

Keitaro's mind went into overdrive as the woman lapped her tongue over his lips in an attempt to enter Keitaro's mouth. Being in the stupefied state he was currently in, Keitaro opened his mouth and allowed the woman's tongue to intertwine with his. In all honesty Keitaro had to admit that the young woman was extremely attractive. He short boyish style haircut fit her soft features perfectly. From her cold navy blue eyes, to her supple pouty cherry red lips, Keitaro couldn't help but be attracted to her somewhat. Not to mention the fact that she was extremely curvatious, and her body felt perfectly toned and muscular as she pressed it further down onto his own body.

"I'm going to ravage you Urashima, the princess can have you later," the young woman stated breaking the passion filled kiss as she took shallow breaths, her chest heaving up and down violently. Taking one more deep breath she added, "I'm sure she won't mind sloppy seconds."

"Epp," was Keitaro's mousey response as his pupils dilated and he began to sweat profusely before he cried out, "WAIT WE CAN'T DO THIS!"

"Huh?" was the young woman's puzzled response as she furrowed her brows in confusion.

"Look," Keitaro continued taking a deep breath in order to calm his distraught nerves, "Look, we can't do this because I know once this is over we're both going to regret it! I mean I don't even know your name!"

"Urashima-san," the young woman whispered softly as her eyes widened with shock, however her surprise didn't last long as her eyes regained their devious glint and she grinned at Keitaro like a predator that had finally caught its prey. "You are something else Urashima-san, but you don't have to worry," the young woman stated as she threw off her blazer, yanked her tie over her head, and wrapped it around Keitaro's neck seductively bringing his face a centimeter away from hers, "I wont regret anything, and I'm sure you wont either." Upon finishing her statement she as she lick his lips and started unbuttoning her white dress shirt with her free hand.

'Oh god!' Keitaro thought as his eyes went wide and his mouth hung slack jawed as he tried not to look down the voluptuous woman's shirt.

"My name is Tutu, Tutusia , I'm Commander Tutu's daughter," Tutusia stated with a purr as she added, "Just so you know my name, 'kay?" With that said she pushed Keitaro back onto the ground and enveloped him in a passionate kiss once again as her hand crept up his man skirt.

'HOLY! I'M SO GONNA DIE!' Keitaro mentally shouted to himself resigning himself to his unfortunate fate as he continued to think, 'JUST MY LUCK! COMMANDER TUTU'S DAUGHTER!? COULDN'T GET MUCH WORSE THAN THIS!"

"TUTUSIA-CHAN!" a shrill cry of an older woman sounded from behind Tutusia and Keitaro.

"Uh oh," Tutusia muttered as her eyes went wide and she visibly cringed.

'Thank God!' Keitaro thought to himself as he sucked in a deep breath and then exhaled sharply.

"Tutusia-chan, if you're going to ravage a cutie like him you could have at least invited me to join you!" an older woman stated as she directed two burly men in black suits to take what appeared to be her suitcases up the stairs. The woman looked strikingly similar to Amalla, the only difference being the fact that she had violet eyes and looked slightly aged. However, she still remained an amazing beauty and her voluptuous form were more than enough for one to forget about whatever her age may be. The outfit she was wearing, or lack thereof, only accentuated her curvatious form since she was wearing a revealing white sundress.

"Um, your majesty!" Tutusia started with a faux smile plastered across her face and her left eyebrow twitching violently. "You know what, I was just leaving so he's all yours!" Tutusia exclaimed as she got up off of Keitaro and dashed out of sight at near light speed leaving a heavy cloud of dust in her wake.

'Now that can't be good,' Keitaro thought to himself as he coughed violently due to the dust.

"My, my," the woman started as she approached Keitaro swaying her hips seductively, "You must be Kaolla's fiancée, I must say she sure did pick a cute one." Upon reaching Keitaro she slowly bent down and put her face mere centimeters from his.

"Um, your majesty…...who exactly are you?" Keitaro questioned as he slowly tried to back away from the woman who was currently licking her lips suggestively.

"Oh, I'm just Kaolla's stepmother Su, Aashna," Aashna stated as she began to feel up Keitaro's man skirt as well, "You must have won the tournament, I can still smell the liquor on you."

'Jeez, today is just not my day," Keitaro thought to himself as he let out a pain filled moan in his throat.

"Lady Aashna, Urashima-kun, the king is growing impatient. I do suggest that you hurry into the dining room," Commander Tutu stated as he gazed at the scene in front of him as though it was the most common thing in the world. "By they way, Urashima-kun have you seen my daughter around? She's one of Lady Kaolla's bodyguards, and she has short red hair. She was supposed to come and escort you to the dining hall," Tutu stated as looked over and noticed the blazer and tie still lying on the floor. "Nevermind," Tutu stated with a beleaguered sigh before he muttered, "I told that foolish girl that the aphrodisiac was far too strong for her to resist, but can she listen. Nooooo, of course not," as he closed the dining hall door behind him.

"While I would love to ravage you Urashima-kun, we should really get going," Bali stated with a sigh as she stood up and retracted her hand, "My husband gets a little cranky when he's hungry."

'Thank God!' Keitaro thought once again as he got up and walked over to the door behind Aashna.

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"It's about time," the Jugara stated as he grabbed his chop sticks and began to woof down his rice. He was currently donning his normal attire, a western pen stripe suit and a lopsided crown, the only noticeable difference being the band-aid on the center of his forehead where Lu and he had headed butted.

"Huh?" Keitaro asked as he took a seat next to Su, who was currently dressed in a green out fit similar to Amalla's. She was also wearing her hair down, which made her look surprisingly older than she really was.

"Well I thought ya' might like a traditional Japanese meal soon to be hubby, so I had the chef make somethin' special today!" Su stated as she picked up her own chopsticks and began to dig in. She stopped momentarily as she looked up toward Bali and greeted her with, "Hiya Aashna-mom, when did you get back?"

"Not too long ago Kaolla," Aashna stated simply as she grinned at Keitaro and continued to eye him seductively. This did not go unnoticed by Su, who scrunched up her face and glared at her stepmother.

"What's wrong?" Aashna asked with a confused expression on her face.

"I saw that Aashna-mom!" Su stated as she pointed her chopsticks at her stepmother before she added, "No one gets to deflower Keitaro but me!" As soon as she finished her statement everyone spit their food out and face faulted dramatically, well aside from the pouting Aashna and the king who was still devouring down his meal like food was going out of style.

Peppa was the first to recover asking, "You mean you two haven't already?" She paused for a moment trying to choose her next words wisely before asking "You mean to tell me that you two haven't already done the deed?"

"Nope! We're gonna wait till after the marriage!" Su stated happily as she picked up her second bowl of rice and began to woof it down with gusto.

"BUT THAT WAS THE POINT OF THE TOURNAMENT!" Guko shouted indignantly before the queen stomped on his foot and glared at him. Guko was about to cry out in pain before he noticed the look in the queens eyes which effectively silenced him and forced him to sit down. Guko was currently outfitted in a white suit, and black dress shirt which still revealed his toned chest, and his bald head in addition to his tattoo made him look every bit like a classic spy villain.

"Fool, don't you understand! This is perfect! Since they haven't consummated their marriage yet, that means that you still have a chance!" the queen hissed at Guko who's eyes went wide while her simply mouthed "Oh".

"Well it's too bad we can't say the same about your brother and sister," Jubara stated casually as he jabbed finger in the direction of a suffocating Lu due to the fact that Amalla was currently sucking his face off. Not only were his eyes wide but his face was turning blue. However, after a moment the kiss was broken with a loud "POP!" and Lu was able to heave in several deep breaths while Amalla sighed contentedly.

Keitaro was momentarily stunted by their affectionate display, however his mind immediately wandered back to what Guko had said.

"Um, your majesty…..what exactly was the tournament meant to accomplish? I thought it was just some type of tradition," Keitaro stated as he looked at the king with a puzzled expression on his face.

"Oh! So Kaolla didn't tell you?" the king inquired as he slowly set down his glass of tea. Keitaro simply shook his head. The king let out a soft grunt and then a chuckle before he said, "Well within the liquor there is a special aphrodisiac that women just can't seem to get enough of. Due to this fact it sealed away in the royal cellar and only used for special occasions, such as marriage due to the fact that it makes the males extremely potent and it arouses the females to unimaginable levels," Jugara stated as he gulp down his tea and let out a content sigh before he continued, "The tournament was set up as a way to test whether or not one is fit to become a father."

"Just how is it supposed to do that?" Keitaro asked as he took a sip of his own tea.

The king let out a hardy laugh before he said, "Well you see ma' boy, the game is set up as a means to see whether or not a man can remained focused even though he's being disoriented, somewhat like being a father to one of the most hyperactive children on the face of the planet, and being able to rule over this beautiful country."

"I see," Keitaro said with a small nod before he spoke up once more, "But then why does the loser have to consume so much alcohol in the end?"

"Just for fun," the king said with a shrug as he picked up his chopsticks once again before he added, "It is a drinking game after all."

"Just for fun, it is a drinking game after all," Guko mimicked in a whiny voice as he glared at Keitaro.

"Now now Guko, we won fair and square," Lu stated as he picked up his chopsticks and started eating as well, "Don't blame Keitaro because you put the ball in through the wrong ring…..besides, the ladies love a cueball now-a-days." Everyone at the table started laughing at this, including Peppa who had been trying her absolute hardest not to.

"Urashima," Guko muttered under his breath as he broke his chopsticks between his thumb and index finger.

"Bwhahaha, well I'm full," the king said between fits of laughter as he wiped a tear out of his left eye and got up from the table. "Besides, since Keitaro did not prove himself a man by consummating his marriage, he must now complete The Challenge of the Gods," the king stated somewhat dejectedly, "It probably would have been easier if you two simply did do "the deed"."

'OH CRAP, I FORGOT ABOUT THAT!' Su thought to herself as her eyes went wide with panic, 'DEFINITELY SHOULD HAVE CONSUMMATED THE MARRIAGE LAST NIGHT!"

"Um, what is the Challenge of the Gods your majesty?" Keitaro inquired as his voice cracked and he began to quiver slightly.

"It is a test to prove your worth as a king, although you only have to complete it due to the fact that Su is destined to be the next queen," the Jubara stated as he walked toward the door, "Now you must prove yourself by going into the Cave of Guano and coming out alive."

"Alive?" Keitaro asked with an audible gulp as he began to sweat profusely. Suddenly he felt a hand grasp his and give it a reassuring squeeze. Looking over to his right Keitaro noticed that Su seemed far more serious than usual. "Su-chan" Keitaro whispered softly receiving another reassuring squeeze.

"Don't worry Keitaro, I'll help you out in any way that I can," Su whispered before they both heard someone clear their throat loudly. Turing around both saw Guko giving them a sinister smile.

"What do you want Guko-san?" Su mumbled through gritted teeth.

"Oh nothing Kaolla-chan," Guko stated in a voice full of false innocents before he added, "I just wanted to remind you that you cannot in any way aid Keitaro, unless you want him put in front of a firing squad."

"Firing squad?" Keitaro questioned nervously with an audible gulp once again.

"Guko-san," Su muttered through gritted teeth.

"ENOUGH!" Jugara bellowed, "WE MUST GET TO THE GROUNDS BEFORE NOON!"

"Why's that dear?" Aashna asked as she rose from her seat.

"We must get there before noon due to the fact that once night approaches Keitaro-kun will be stuck in the cave and unable to get out," Jugara stated as he exited the dining hall.

'I'm so gonna die,' Keitaro thought to himself as he stifled a sob and a small moan.

**-Meanwhile-**

"I'm going to kill that idiotic pervert!" Naru stated as she stomped on board the plane and shoved a male stewardess out of her way.

"Hey Naru calm down or you're going to get us kicked of the plane," Kitsune warned as she helped the man to his feet and apologized.

"Kitsune is right Naru-sempai," Motoko agreed as she tucked her boxed sword, which she somehow managed to sneak past airport security, in an over head compartment, "It is very unwise for you to assault innocent bystanders."

"Whatever," Naru muttered as she stared out the window and folded her arms over her chest while pouting.

"Why didn't Haruka-san come with us?" Shinobu questioned as she took a seat next to Kitsune.

"Because she's an old party pooper!" Sarah bellowed as she stomped onto the plane wielding several different types of pistols, revolvers, and shotguns. "So who's ready to kill a dork!?" Sarah inquired as everyone on the plane, including the pilots, face faulted dramatically.

"HOW THE HECK DID YOU GET THOSE ON THE PLANE!?" Naru snapped at the young blond haired girl who merely shrugged.

"All I had to do was run," Sarah said as though it was the simplest thing in the world. Just then the entire Japanese military stormed on the plane.

"Oh crap," Kitsune muttered to herself as the men diverged onto their group.

**-Meanwhile at the Cave of Guano-**

"So this is the Cave of Guano?" Keitaro inquired as he looked at the small cave hidden behind a unruly plain of grass and several palm trees with an old decrypt palm tree wood door as an entrance way.

"Yep! Okay see you later kiddo," the king stated as he pushed Keitaro forward while patting him on the back affectionately, although still slightly rough.

"What makes you so sure," Keitaro muttered to himself as he slowly approached the door before he turned around and asked, "Can't I change out of this outfit?"

"Nope," the Jugara stated shaking his head, "You have to wear it the whole day, otherwise it's the firing squad."

Keitaro gulped audibly once again before he asked one last question, "Okay, I know why I have to go but why does she have to go?" At this point Keitaro was pointing at a quivering Tutusia who was currently dressed in a similar skirt as Keitaro, the notable difference being the fact that she also had on a tube top of a similar design as well.

"I don't recall ever hearing about her needing to consummate a marriage, and on top of that she's terrified!" Keitaro said as he saw small tears form in the corners of Tutusia's blue orbs.

"She should have controlled herself, this is her punishment," Commander Tutu stated in a deadpan tone of voice before he added, "She understands Keitaro-kun, on top of that she didn't become a royal bodyguard just because she's my daughter."

"But-t-t-t daddy, I-I-I'm sc-c-c-car," Tutusia stuttered out before she was cut off by her father.

"Man up," was all Tutu said as he turned around before he added, "Keitaro-kun, if you wouldn't mind, please take care of her." With that said he went back through the thicket and headed toward the royal limousine.

"Well then, we're going to take our leave as well," Jugara stated as he ushered his family and a deviously grinning Guko away from the site.

"My life sucks," Keitaro griped to himself as he felt someone come up from behind him and grab him around his waist.

"Please protect me Keitaro-kun," Tutusia whimpered pitifully into the small of Keitaro's back. Turing around Keitaro looked the distraught woman in the eyes and forced himself to give her his trademark goofy grin.

'Oh boy, I hate to lie to her but I guess I don't have any other choice,' Keitaro thought to himself as he looked down at Tutusia. "Don't worry, we'll be fine I promise," Keitaro stated as he guided Tutusia towards the door. 'We are so gonna die,' Keitaro thought to himself as he opened the door allowing a whole sea of bats to fly out before he nodded and thought, 'Oh yeah, we're definitely gonna die.'

**-One Hour Later-**

"I DON'T WANNA DIE!" Keitaro cried out as he ran down a dark tunnel with Tutusia in his arms bridal style. The Unfortunate young woman had passed out as soon as they had walked into the cave only to be met with a strange creature that looked like a cross between the missing link and Peppa. The beast was also wearing what seemed to be a ceremonial Molmolian style dress, which looked like it had seen better days. The hairy beast had released an earth shaking roar which caused a petrified Tutusia to faint instantly. Keitaro immediately scooped the young woman up into his arms and ran under the enormous beast's legs and down the tunnel. That had been almost an hour ago and neither the beast nor Keitaro had stopped since then.

Suddenly Keitaro had started feeling weak and his legs started to go numb. "Oh no!" Keitaro thought as he began to panic as he cried out, "Come on feet, don't fail me now!" As Keitaro forced himself to keep running he forgot to pay attention to his surroundings and ended up tripping over a small rock causing him to fall head over heels. Unfortunately for Keitaro, not only did he fall, but he fell through a hole and down into a pool of something that smelled far too familiar for Keitaro's comfort.

"Please don't tell me that this is what I think it is," Keitaro muttered to himself as he waded through the liquid with Tutusia still in his arms. Upon reaching the shore he laid Tutusia down gently and brushed her hair out of her face.

"Well at least that ape thing isn't chasing us anymore," Keitaro mused to himself as he laid down next to Tutusia. Suddenly he heard some faint coughing and immediately looked over to his left in anticipation of the creature, but only saw Tutusia's eyelids flutter open.

"Ugh, what happened?" Tutusia moaned as she sat up and rubbed her head lightly.

"You fainted when we ran into that thing, don't you remember?" Keitaro inquired as he helped her stay up.

"Yeah, kinda," Tutusia muttered and then began to sniff Keitaro's arm before she added, "You know Keitaro, you smell really good."

"Um, thanks I guess," Keitaro muttered sheepishly while he thought, 'Please don't tell me that pool was what I think it was.' "Well the good news is we don't have to worry about the creature following us down here. The bad news is we're trapped," Keitaro said as he saw Tutusia breath a sigh of relief causing him to furrow his brow in confusion. 'I guess she didn't hear the part about being trapped,' Keitaro thought to himself as he regarded the young woman next to him with eyes full of confusion.

"Well that's good, because I would have hated to have done this," Tutusia said as she whipped around and pinned Keitaro to the ground forcefully before she added, "With some deranged beast capable following us around."

'Oh crap!' Keitaro thought to himself as his eyes went wide with panic, 'It was what I thought it was! Stupid liquor! Stupid, stupid liquor!' As he thought this Tutusia once again forced her tongue into his mouth and began to feel up his thigh. However, this time the situation was intensified by the fact that Tutusia was no longer modestly clothed and was capable of feeling something Keitaro desperately hoped she wouldn't.

"My, my, Keitaro-kun. I does seem that you're quite attracted to me," Tutusia whispered into Keitaro's ear seductively as she licked his ear lobe.

'AS CRAZY AS THIS SOUNDS, I WOULD REALLY LIKE FOR THAT THING TO BE CHASING US RIGHT NOW!' Keitaro shouted in his mind. Just then a loud rumbling could be heard coming from the wall next to them. Tutusia immediately stopped and snapped her head up to see the wall cracking and small bits of debris flying everywhere.

"This isn't good," she said more to herself than Keitaro as they both got up and started to back away from the cracking wall. Just as they got no more than eight meters away the beast crashed through the wall and roared so loud that the cave began to shake violently.

"You know what, I'm so sick of this stupid monkey!" Tutusia yelled as she charged the beast and attacked it with a flying kick to the chest, followed by a drop kick to the stomach, and a couple of lightning fast jabs to the face. However the beast was unfazed and simply looked down at Tutusia with a sour expression on its face.

"Um, sorry," Tutusia stated sheepishly as she chuckled sheepishly and began to dust off the beast chest.

"BRWARRRR!" the beast shouted as he pulled hand back and was about to bash a stunned Tutusia into last Tuesday. Fortunately for Tutusia it was at this time when Keitaro pushed her out of the way and took the brunt of the attack which caused his body to ricochet like a pinball off of the cavern wall before he landed in the pool of liquor once again.

"KEITARO-KUN!" Tutusia cried out as tears flowed from her eyes. The beast also let out a pained cry as it ran into the liquid and dove underneath. A few moments later it reemerged with Keitaro in its arms being carried bridal style.

"Thank God!" Tutusia whispered as she smiled widely.

The beast then stalked past Tutusia, and out of the hole it had made in the cavern.

"Huh?" Tutusia questioned as she got up and followed behind the beast keeping a safe distance. As she followed the beast she noticed a light at the end of the tunnel getting brighter and brighter. 'Freedom!" she thought giddily as she rushed past the beast and out of the cave into the Molmolian night. As soon as her feet hit the ground out side the cave she began crying and kissing the grass beneath her feet and looked up toward the illustrious full moon.

"Daughter, where is Keitaro-kun?" Commander Tutu questioned from behind Tutusia who immediately froze stiff as a board.

"You didn't leave him in there did you?" Tutu stated in a deadpan tone of voice as he walked behind his daughter who let out a soft whimper. "What am I going to do with you?" Tutu questioned as he let out a beleaguered sigh and shook his head solemnly before he asked, "At least tell me he's still alive." Once again he was met with a whimper, but this particular whimper seemed to be full of pain. Just then thunderous foot steps could be heard from behind the pair. Turning around they once again came face to face with the beast, which was carrying an unconscious Keitaro in its arms.

"Lady Kallua?" Tutu questioned as he eyed the beast skeptically.

"Grandma?" Su questioned as she arrived on the scene and breathed a sigh of relief as she saw Keitaro in her grandmother's arms.

"Mother?" Peppa questioned as she arrived on the scene with everyone else in toe.

"HEY MA'!" Jugara hollered as he approached the beast.

"Jugara-kun!" the beast exclaimed happily as she gently set Keitaro down and enveloped the man in a bone crunching hug which he happily returned. "Tell me, how has my daughter been behaving?!" Kallua inquired as she eyed Peppa incredulously.

"YOU'RE LADY KALLUA!?" Tutusia cried out indignantly as she pointed toward what she and Keitaro thought had been some type of missing link, "But you're supposed to be dead!"

"Not so loud please, I have a splitting headache," Keitaro moaned out as he clutched his head in pain.

"Keitaro," both Tutusia and Su cried out as they ran over and enveloped Keitaro in a group hug.

"So that's the cutie's name huh?" Kallua stated as she eyed the group.

"Yep, that's Kaolla's future husband!" the king exclaimed proudly and added, "I'm glad to see he made it out okay."

"You didn't send him in there for that idiotic Challenge of the Gods did you Jubara-kun?" Kallua questioned Jugara with a hint of disappointment evident in her voice.

"Well you see….I….um….well," Jubara stated as he hung his head in shame and apologized, "Sorry ma."

Kallua simply sighed quietly to herself as she shook her head before she smiled at Keitaro and said, "You do know that I killed that Man Eating Ostrich years ago right? The only reason I never left was because it took me forever to find a way out. Thanks to this young man however, I accidentally discovered a way out." Kallua sighed one more time and added, "Well I'll give my granddaughter this, she certainly does know how to pick 'em. And I guess this means the ceremony is about to start."

"Oh, Keitaro-kun!" Aashna stated as she swayed her hips seductively walking towards him, "You smell divine."

"Oh crap!" Keitaro stated with wide eyes as he started to back away from a grinning Tutusia and Su.

"Now that you mention it," Su started as she pawed up towards him and purred softly.

"He does smell really good," Tutusia finished while licking her lips.

"Now ladies, lets behave ourselves," Keitaro said as he started backing off before he whipped around and started to run crying out, "WHY MEEEEE!"

Within less than a second three incredibly hot and bothered women were chasing after a fleeing Keitaro.

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to everyone else Guko was silently brooding within the limousine. 'So he came out alive huh?' Guko thought, 'Well no matter, there are still two more traditions for him to survive before the end of the ceremony.' Guko then began to chuckle softly, and then to cackle manically into the night

**-Meanwhile-**

"I can't believe that you brought military grade weaponry on a plane," Naru moaned smacking her forehead for the fifth time in ten minutes as the group sat in an extremely cramped jail cell within the airport.

"Hey, I thought you said we were going to kill him!" Sarah cried in her defense as she added, "And Motoko brought her sword so I figured it was okay!"

"Enough!" an angry, but still slight deadpan, voice shouted through the bars of the cell. Everyone looked up too see Haruka take a long drag on her cigarette and then blow out a cloud of smoke.

"You all are a pain in my back side sometimes," Haruka said as the bailiff opened the prison door and allowed the girls to exit.

"Come on morons, let's get going," Haruka stated as she stalked out of the door that led back into the main building of the airport flashing some plane tickets.

"Looks like we're back on track," Kitsune muttered to herself as the group walked out of the prison and into the airport once again.

**To Be Continued **

**Next Episode: No More Challenges!**

Author's Note: Well here's another chapter for you guys! Hope you enjoyed it! **AS ALWAYS, PLEASE REVIEW! ;D**


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